I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize