I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
