i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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