I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
