Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
