She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
