he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
