Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
