I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
