i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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