I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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