We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
