i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
