The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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