I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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