# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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