last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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