Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
