Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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