don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
