I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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