I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
