I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
