if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
