Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
