I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
