i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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