I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
