My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
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Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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