dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
