You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
