he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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