I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
