A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
