I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
