oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
