try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
