About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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