Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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