Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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