just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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