The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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