therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
