No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
