I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
