Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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