Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it hurts more in the daytime
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
