Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize