They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
