I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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