Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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