i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
