just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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