he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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