I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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