she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
