He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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