I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
