Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
